Little Feet Down Memory Lane

It felt liberating to crush old rigid blackberry branches.  They were in my way. A heat, almost like exhilaration, rose up from my heart to my eyes. My feet instinctively led me to exactly the right spot.  Nothing significant was visibly there, but my heart knew. Almost like Peter Pan, I was following my second star to the right, except in this case it was an enormous and grand tree.  As I dug, my fingers slowed as if in doubt of my original inclination.  But, then I saw it and my lungs paused in mid breath. My sister had come up to next to me with her two boys who rampaged around crushing sticks and branches at the base of the tree.  I pulled at the unearthed white rock.

"Is this really it?" I released the corners of the corroded and blinding white rock.

"It is."

I then spotted little black rubber pads dispersed on the corners of the rough rock and proceeded to coax it out of the wet earth. I expected the rock to say "Happiness" because that is what I recalled laying at her grave, but as I turned the rock over I saw it was a still intact statue. I had forgotten.

"I put that there," my sister gazed around the tree. "You remember where we buried her?"

"Closer to the tree," I responded.

"Seems so much closer to the house than I remember. I wanted to bury her far away so mom wouldn't be tempted to come down here," My sister turned and for a moment seemed to return to her 19 year-old self.

My mom wouldn't be tempted anymore even if she had been in the past. That is the phrase that crosses my mind. The house seems closer; yet far away, and like a stranger. Things have happened that I cannot explain.  It is as if my youth has floated away like a balloon to the Heavens and I spend day and night trying to find it.  All I find are memories that I doubt and faces that I miss.

On this visit home, I went down to look for a grave that was marked with Happiness and although my sister doesn't remember it being there, I am sure I put it there and I will find it when I go home next time. I just missed it.

The Island of Catatonic State

"It is like the trees are crying. The sap is being bled out of them by these foreign brambles. They are everywhere. All around me. Hope, I see them in my sleep wrapping their vicious teeth around my ankles and pulling me into that vile stagnant water hole. Perhaps, some would call it a bog, but it is worse than that. Please help me find Passion! I don't think I can do it!

Justice falls back against the same gray tree she has slept against for weeks. She winces as her cracked skin brushes against merciless splintered bark. Her faded emerald green eyes spot the precious scroll in the folds of her once beautiful dress. Cramped, tired, and freezing fingers clutch it out of desperation as she gazes at the mission once more:

"Justice, find your sister, Passion. Hope will guide you."

She reads and re-reads the words until her eyes collapse shut. A soft material brushes again her face causing Justice's eyes to burst open. Red! The silk-like material slips down her face tickling her nose and lips. Her eyes remain fixed on the flowing color as it encounters the dull stiff mute colored grass. Blinding greens and yellows cause her to cover her eyes.She peeks through dirt encrusted fingers as if transfixed by the entity that is neither liquid nor material. Aching arms lift her body as she leans to touch it. Her fingers go right through it and as she examines her fingers gold dust falls to the ground and her fingers have gained a brillant glow as if the sun was shining on only her finger tips. Out of desperation, she begins to crawl after the mysterious form. As her body touches the ground where it has crossed, she can feel a surge of energy gripping her legs and working its way through her body. A smile begins to cross her face and then a laugh as she stands up and stumbles after the entity, which seems to be playing with her as it begins to float up in the air causing streaks of color to move about. Justice captures the spattered color and peeks into her cupped hands. She expected darkness, but instead the vibrant blues and lavenders begin to quiver and wrap color upon color. Then right before her eyes two wings form and flap against her hands. Her hands open in reaction to the velvet lining of the small creatures wings. A small butterfly rises in the air leaving streaks of sparkling metallic color and an aroma like roses as if flies into the sky. As she looks back to the creator of this magical insect, she notices the red liquid is resting on brilliant green grass and wildflowers. Her eyes follow the trail and as she begins to look up, she sees the outlining and curves of a woman. Random colors are dancing across her form, but slowly begin to solidify into a pale olive. Her brown eyes are kind and motherly. Justice feels like she is getting sucked into this phenomenal and tender creation, but is jolted back into reality as the being reaches for her in sudden agony as she falls to the ground. Her sparkling ruby red lips manage a weak whisper:

"Justice. Find me."

A giant wave of darkness sweeps over the woman and she is gone. Two defined holes as if eyes look at Justice and leap at her to envelope her.

"No!" Justice leans back and her arms cover her her face as Hope leaps out of her chest; her mighty wings slicing through the darkness.

Justice's lungs gasp for air as she wakes. Her eyes are franitcally searching the air and she grabs her chest as if to calm her beating heart. She is still leaning against the same splintered gray tree. Something is different though. She can see a faint light swinging in the distant fog. It is followed by a high pitch screeching of hinges and the crunching of dead earth. Justice peers through the fog and begins to make out the faint outline of figures and a black torn flag flipping in the musty air. A low bass-like humming of voices surrounds the wagons as men and woman sway back and forth while they pass Justice. They do not seem to see her and Justice begins to inch away as she sees a coach adorned in black velvet with brambles surrounding the doors and back. She spies a tall lean and handsome man leaning and drinking in the coupe, which is covered in red velvet material. Staggering shapes tall and small are pulling the coach like cattle. Justice can feel her heart beating again as she crouches down to hide herself. As the coach passes, she spots something streaming to the ground. Gold dust! A thin trail of vibrant color vibrates behind the coach. In reaction, she almost stands, but stops herself and remains hidden.

"Passion."